Hello, Readers (what's left of you). I know you'd all love to believe that I've been living some wonderful adventure over the past few weeks but the truth is that I've simply been swamped after returning from the Fabulous Las Vegas. In fact, I've been so busy in my "real" life that I haven't even had time to slowly and carefully contemplate Emily's latest set of photos; you know, for research purposes. I also haven't had time to look over the latest version of the cheese parade posted on ABC.com. Apparently, the "men" who will be vying for the affections of Emily and her white shorts have been posted.
In spite of that bad news, I do have some good news to share. First, Lincee Ray of www.ihategreenbeans.com made her yearly trip to Austin, Texas to hang out with Some Guy. We bumped around town on Cinco de Mayo and enjoyed Mexican Food and culture before heading to none other than Wes Hayden's favorite hang out in order to see if we could see him in his natural habitat. For the record, his favorite hangout--not surprisingly--is the cheesiest "country bar" in town. It's filled with crunchy cowboy hats, embroidered "western" shirts, and sparkly jeans (think Jason Aldean but worse--if that's even possible) but it's a wonderful place to sit for a bit and people watch; which is exactly what we did.
I was disappointed beyond belief that we didn't see the heretofore mentioned King of the Cheeseballs in his element. Frankly, that's like going to the pig pen and not seeing any hogs rolling around in the mud. Lincee and I stayed there (for the sake of our Readers) as long as we could stand it. I think it was an Eric Church song that finally did me in. We retreated to my favorite REAL honky tonk so I could purge my ears. Lincee and the Special Lady Friend did a wonderful job of humoring me. They made girl talk as well; however, I purposely ignored that part of the evening.
Lincee, it was wonderful to see you, my friend. You look great and it was truly a pleasure seeing you laugh rather than simply hearing it on the other end of the phone. I'm lucky to be your friend. Let's not wait 10 months to see each other again.
Attached for your viewing pleasure is a picture memorializing our trip into the abyss. Notice, in particular, Lincee's dead on portrayal of Sissy's pouty expression and my careful placement of my Lone Star Beer. Enjoy.
My breakdown of the guys will be up on THURSDAY, MAY 10 before lunch time. Oh, and yes, I'm aware of Harrison's divorce. I know you're all expecting a few shots across the bow about that little situation. Sorry to disappoint, but my only response is that I hope he and his soon-to-be ex can work things out in a respectful and expeditious manner for the sake of the two young children involved. Making fun of reality stars who voluntarily and shamelessly put themselves in front of the camera is one thing, but some things should simply be left alone. I wish them all the best.
THANK YOU ALL for sticking around during my unintentionally long hiatus. I'm looking forward to a good season. DP