Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Bachelor Chris Episode 11: Will You (Maybe) Marry Me?

Hello, Readers.  Welcome to this season’s final installment.  As always, I appreciate the patience.   It’s been almost 48 hours since our forlorn farmer sent a much preferred but overly equivocal virgin away from the frozen corn fields of Iowa back to sunny San Diego in favor of a less desired fertility nurse anxious have her own heretofore barren field fertilized.  If Becca was the Dust Bowl then Whitney was the Fertile Crescent. 


Hi, I'm Becca.  I don't love you. 

Hi, I'm Whitney.  Impregnate me.  


Speaking of Fertile Crescents, I was shocked to see that we didn’t get an update on Ashley and J.P.’s syncretic bundle of joy on the After the Final Rose show.  I suppose this season had enough excitement to fill the generously allotted 3 hours of prime time programming we were given to see how the last 10 weeks shook out.  I’m happy they spared us the hazy view of Ashley’s uterus.    

Before we get to the big recap, let me say congratulations to Whitney and Chris (in that order).  I say it every season.  I believe that moment—whether its on a hastily constructed platform on a lush tropical island or in a dirty barn in Iowa—is a moment when the two people involved truly feel as if they’ve reached their destination. 

Granted, reality will soon present them both with a swift kick to the groin, but for that moment, things must seem perfect.  Cynicism aside, we ought to recognize that.  Very few moments in life hold within them that level of promise and optimism.  Every season I wish the newly minted couple well and every season I mean it.  I hope Whitney and Chris double the population of Arlington, Iowa. 

Let’s get to it. 

Let’s start by reviewing my December 2014 predictions for both ladies.  I wrote:   

Becca, 26, Chiropractic Assistant.  Great bio.  Attractive.  No bling and an understated Coral shirt that hides the shoulders and is tastefully unbuttoned.  Real boobs, subtle makeup, and she's not bleach blond.  That's how you do a headshot, ladies.  Based on looks and bio alone, Top 4.

Not bad, Some Guy.  Not bad. 

Whitney, 29, Fertility Nurse.  She can't go anywhere without her razor, will try anything once, and likes to pursue men.  Sounds like a hell of a night in the Fantasy Suite to me.  Then again, having a razor wielding fertility nurse who's desperate to get married chase after me is not very enticing.  

I suppose that one proved to be accurate as well.  I had a reader send me a nasty comment earlier in the season accusing me of secretly reading Reality Stan and then doctoring my picks to make myself seem wise.  Frankly, this season was one of my worst in the way of predictions.  I picked Jade and Tracy the school teacher as finalists.  Frankly, I never saw Whitney coming until about 3 weeks ago.  For the record, the only Bachelor blog I read besides my own is www.ihategreenbeans.com.

Yes, it’s time for our farmer to pick his favorite hoe.  Keeping our Tour De Midwest in tact we begin with our confused Bachelor roaming the hoary (or is it whorey?) cornfields of Arlington, Iowa in search of clarity.  By “confused” I am, of course, referring to the selection of the skinny jeans and peacoat combination rather than his inability to decide between Whitney and Becca. 

I’m pretty certain he didn’t pick that outfit up at the local general store.  He should have shucked off that entire getup in favor of clothes he can throw a hay bale while wearing.  Farming isn’t for everyone, but hay, it’s in his jeans.

This is what real farmers wear. 

Another great pun:



It’s time to meet the whole fam damily on their own turf.  Whitney is first up after a refreshing stay at the local Arlington Inn—Free TV, Clean Beds, Vacancy.  I can just see her blow dryer dimming the entire Arlington power grid as she struggled to find enough counter space amongst the chipped linoleum single vanity to accommodate her tackle box filled with assorted creams, gels, and powders.



Not surprisingly, Whitney continues to push the ball down the field into the red zone by closing, closing, and closing again.  She closed in her one-on-one time, closed with mom, closed with dad, closed at the dinner table, closed with Wilson Phillips in the living room, and probably closed with the sheep in the barn when the cameras weren’t rolling.  By the time she left the only things more closed than that family were Becca’s legs.  I’ll give Whitney credit for the sales pitch.  Hell, I have to admit that I believed it.   

Signed, The Soules Family

Speaking of Becca.  She arrives, the ying to Whitney’s yang, after Chris has an opportunity to pow wow with the dudes in the sheet metal version of the Lair of Seclusion about the ups and downs of both women.  I knew that was set up.  Breast size was never discussed.  Trust me, breast size is always a factor.  And before you male-bash me, I just want to make a couple of points. 

First, allow me to point out the double standard.  Every single woman who senses an impending wedding proposal will at some point loudly profess to whomever is within ear shot something like, “I really don’t care what the ring looks like or how big the diamond is, I just want to know that he loves me and wants to marry me.” 

Bullshit.

95% of women care what the ring looks like and how big the diamond is and the other 5% are lying about it.  Proof?  The first thing a group of engagement hungry women will do upon hearing the announcement that their friend is engaged will be to feign excitement while simultaneously grabbing her left hand in order to inspect the ring.  What’s my point?  Boobs are men’s diamond engagement rings.  They count.  Deal with it. 

Final point, all shapes and sizes of boobs are in play.  Unlike the diamond, bigger is not necessarily better but every man wants some peace of mind in that category.  Hell, if I had a pair of boobs I’d never leave the house.  Wouldn’t it be great if men were allowed to grab a buddy’s fiancé and inspect her boobs upon hearing about the engagement like women inspect the engagement ring? 

Yes, it would.  Back to the recap.

Becca makes the mistake(?) of being honest with Chris’ family.  What Whitney was to closing the deal Becca was to avoiding any commitment whatsoever to picking up her 72 degree, sunny skies, beach-within-10-minutes life and moving to Iowa to get engaged to a man she’s dated collectively with 25 other women for a month.  Crazy, I know.  She was like modus ponens personified.  I was stricken by just how much the sheer rationality and logical thinking stood out when juxtaposed next to what we’ve grown to expect as the norm on this show.  


Who said a Philosophy degree was worthless?  


After an excruciating talk with Chris’ mom, Becca refuses to drink the Arlington Punch.  Prior to the show I wasn’t sure how many ways a person could communicate she wasn’t ready to get married to a stranger and move across the country but Becca came close to hitting them all.  Ironically, she was as strong in her resolve as Whitney was in hers.  Unfortunately for Chris, she made it clear she was resolved not to jump into a bad decision.  He tried selling.  She just wasn’t buying. 

Chris resigns himself to being nagged by Whitney’s high-pitched voice instead of Becca’s inability to commit and has the ABC intern write Whitney’s name in calligraphy on the envelope containing the generic invitation for the winner to ride heavy farm equipment with him the morning before the rose ceremony.

Dear Honey,

I’ve decided I love you and I’d like you to ride farm equipment with me in my flannel shirt and vest before the rose ceremony. 

Love, Chris

P.S. (dress like Jackie Kennedy).






I was relieved to see Chris retire the pseudo farmer attire carefully selected for him by a couple of Los Angeles residents who had never been to Iowa in exchange for his regular jeans and trusty vest.  I think vests are all about protection.  You know, like a life vests protect people from drowning and bulletproof vests protect people from getting shot, and sweater vests protect people from getting laid.

We all knew what direction he was leaning.  It’s too bad he talked himself into going the other direction. 

Rose Ceremony

Becca looked incredible.  I cannot recall another rose ceremony where any other contestant looked as good.  Yes, that includes Emily Maynard.  I’m sure that made letting her go far more difficult than risking frostbite in the barn.  It was also impossible not to wonder what would have happened had a staffer accidentally knocked over one of those candles into the bone dry hay scattered all over the place.  If you discount the time that Roberto almost sweated to death, this was clearly the most dangerous rose ceremony in Bachelor history. 

Whitney shows up looking alright (I’ve told you she doesn’t do it for me) and Chris drops to one knee to pull out the Neil Lane hardware and pop the big question after Whitney finally shut up.  Note to women:  Proposing to you is a nerve-racking ordeal, no matter how sure a man is.  If you even remotely sense that it’s going to happen, please give your man a lot of leeway and please be quiet.  If a guy has gone through the trouble to get the ring, he’s sure about asking you.  

Shakespeare wrote “the course of true love never did run smooth,” in a Midsummer Night’s Dream. I found that quote appropriate in light of the fact that Shakespeare wrote that comedy about the wedding of two people surrounded by a group of actors who are manipulated and controlled by a group of mischievous fairies in the forest.  That reminds me of a certain show.  Substitute midsummer for midwinter and 86 the forest for a cornfield and it makes a bit more sense.    

Indeed the course of love is not often smooth.   Chris and Whitney seem to have a lot on their newly unified plates before life slows down and a real move to Iowa becomes a possibility.  Dancing with the Stars, the press caravan, and a whole host of red carpets to walk stand firmly between them and the corn field.  

Let’s hope that when the red carpet gets rolled up and they make the 3 hour drive from the Des Moines airport back to Arlington they’ve had some time to figure things out.  Let’s also hope that Whitney doesn’t let the boredom of the farm talk her into dusting off this season’s DVD and watching Chris suck face with all 25 women.  Not watching was the best decision she's made in months.  

Well, there it is.  Another season in the bag.  I hope y’all enjoyed it as much as I did.  This was a good one and it was fun to write about.  I’m not naïve (or conceited) enough to think that all of you will stick around in the off season, but for those of you who do, check in regularly.  I’m committed to posting.  For those of you who will forget about me until our double Bachelorette experiment (that’s a horrible idea) next season, please take care of yourselves and I hope you’ll check in again when the show starts.  

Spring is approaching and, as always, it signals a time of renewal.  Lord knows we can all use a dose of that once a year.  I’ll be here when you’re ready to log on.  In the meantime, if you need me, I’ll be reading Harrison’s novel.  DP

   

 




52 comments:

  1. Great recap as always! Let's start a book club!!!

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  2. Every line was a zinger, Some Guy. So glad you've committed (unlike Becca) to post during the off-season. I'll be reading! Marti in Dallas

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  3. Only you can tie in Shakespeare, Jackie Kennedy, and the Dust Bowl and make it work. Thoroughly enjoyed your recap of our farmer picking "his favorite hoe." Sadly, have to agree with you about the women and the diamond ring bit. We care. Looking forward to your off-season posts and review of Harrison's book.

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    1. Ah ha! An admission. Thanks for the honesty. Surely, you realize that I'm overgeneralizing, but the point is that there's a bit of competition in the ring category if we're all honest. Thanks for reading! DP

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  4. I agree about the diamond ring bit, but you kind of upset me with the "shouldn't men be allowed to examine their buddy's new fiancee's boobs" thing, DP. I want to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you were just being sarcastic, but I just want to be honest. I also hope you're as wise as you appear on here and wouldn't equate women staring at a jewel to a man objectifying another human being. You know I love your blog and I loved every other word of this, but this is the first time I actually felt...offended, I guess. Good job, anyway. You know I'm not going anywhere.

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    1. You're a long time reader, so let me elaborate.

      First, if you've been watching the show for as long as you've been reading you'd admit that it does little more than objectify the men and women (particularly the women) vying for love or whatever. Second, you've been reading long enough to know that hyperbolic juxtaposition is one of my favorite ways to make a point, as is sarcasm. EVERYTHING I write should be taken with a big grain of salt.

      Re-read that section, please. My point was that women judging a man by the size of the ring he buys his fiancé is just as insulting and unfair to a man as his buddies judging a woman for the size of her bosom. So, in that sense, yes, I was equating the two.

      I'd apologize for unsuccessfully communicating that point, but it appears to have worked sufficiently enough to elicit a visceral response from you. My last point was that attraction is a thing that comes in all shapes and sizes---just like diamonds. Ergo, the size is irrelevant.

      Always a smart comment, Mal. Your education is serving you well. Thanks for the benefit of the doubt and thanks for being a loyal reader. DP

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    2. I am a sensitive woman (especially in the breastal area) and I laughed out loud at that comment. Just FYI.

      Also I am a geologist and am unable to appreciate diamonds for how common and overpriced they are BUT I agree with your assessment - I still want a beautiful "status" engagement ring with an alternate stone, and it is shallow of me.

      The vest comment is also hilarious - and did you notice when Chris's vest-wearing friend said "Becca plays her cards closer to the vest"? (I made fun of him on my blog, which you should maybe one day check out if you are super bored)

      And I will be reading your blog in the off-season. I love your sense of humor.

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    3. I'm thrilled to have a sensitive woman as a reader. I'm glad you enjoyed my anatomy humor and my vest jokes. Oh, and perhaps I'll put you on my reading list in the off season. I guess a failure to appreciate the value of diamonds to a geologist is like living in Memphis and being sick of Graceland. DP

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    4. I live in Memphis and it is a point of civic pride that I have never been to Graceland. I bought the DVD tour when I had to do some work with them.

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  5. Here's one woman who didn't care how big her diamond engagement ring was. I got mine when I was 38 years old. I just wanted something pretty that wouldn't stick out too much and get caught on things. The band is regular gold colored gold and not platinum like everybody else's, and the diamond Is one carat when we could have afforded more. Rings are nice but don't make much difference in the marriage. How does that reconcile with your premise? Or maybe I just have low bling tolerance.

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    1. Good Lord, that once struck a huge chord with everyone. Of course there are women like you who don't care. Again, I was taking an extreme position to make a point. Double standards exist. And I agree, it's the dude who buys the band and the rock in it that matters. I'm happy you're happy. We'll see how happy that Neil Lane monster diamond makes Whitney once she settles down in Iowa. DP

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    2. One carat seems ginormous to me. LOL

      -Sitting pretty with my 1/3 carat solitaire.

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    3. Normally it's a man who has an inflated view of size. It's nice to know you're focus is in the right place. Enjoy your ring. DP

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  6. Fabulous recap as always. Of course we care re bling. But usually lie. The boobs reference cracked me up. So did the hi, I'm Becca, I don't love you. Spot on. we certainly need a book club. 2 bachlorette's spells trainwreck, unless they keep them both on all season unlike the fisherman Bachleor where the women picked night one. But, nevertheless, will still be weird/trashy/drama filled aka like we like it!!!! I will watch. I will definitely be reading off season. Thank you for a great season of recaps, enjoyed them all.
    KatherineNOLA

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    1. FINALLY, some support for my boob joke! It's good to have some support. I'm on the fence about the double bachelorette thing but I think it will likely be a disaster. DP

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  7. I found Becca odd. When she realized she wasn't going to commit I thought she should take herself out of the race. You see that on the Bachelorette all the time, men are much less likely to get themselves roped into a wedding than women. I also think Chris didn't really want Becca for the long haul. He just wanted her to commit because she wouldn't. I think the one he really wanted was Britt or Jade. He was clearly into both of them. If he really wants to remain a farmer in Arlington Iowa and he really wants a wife and kids like yesterday, then I think he made the right choice. Whitney needs a baby. Thanks for all the great recaps!

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    1. IamDerby, I agree with the first part about Becca. I'm sure she was talked into sticking around for the sake of the show. She looked relieved when it was over, didn't she? Whitney certainly was enthusiastic, but let's hope she hasn't over romanticized farm life. Time will tell. DP

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  8. spot on (not to mention highly entertaining, as always).

    one question though --

    wasn't it whitney that was modus ponens personified, making becca modus tollens?

    either way, see you in the off season. off to order the book.

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    1. Check out the big brain on Jess. I can see your angle there but I was referring to Becca's thought process.

      If I say No, I wil stay in San Diego
      I will say No
      Therefore, I will stay in San Diego

      DP

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  9. I loved the comment about the sweater vests. Don't always post, but I do always read. Your blog is my favorite. xoxo

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    1. It's nice to be someone's favorite. Thanks for taking the time to comment. Feel free and use the sweater vest joke in your day to day life. There's always one dude who tries to pull that off.

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  10. P.S. I'm really, really sorry that I wrote you a reply almost as long as your actual recap.

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    1. That's alright. It's fun to discuss all of the comings and goings of the folks on our favorite show.

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  11. Read your reply. It makes way more sense now. I've had a rough week so I guess I just didn't think about it from all perspectives. My apologies for that, and I thank you for the detailed response. :)

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    1. No apology necessary. Everyone can have an opinion as long as its respectfully expressed. I hope next week isn't so rough for you. DP

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  12. Some Guy, you're the best. Not always a poster but will always be a reader!
    I found your ring/boob exchange funny, as well. Agree, we will always say it doesn't matter..... Interesting that people are offended - it's a funny and true observation. While the man's perspective set some off, there is a bit of double standard with the ladies. After the ring clarification, questions about the guy (which probably happened while dating) are first about appearance, shoe size, car, home, etc. And, none of that matters, either........... :) Looking forward to future "off season" posts!!!

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    1. Shoe size? interesting. Let's be honest, SOME of that matters. You don't want a guy who lives in the basement with his moth collection. DP

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  13. About the ring/breast bit...it was hilarious. I get your humor which is why I enjoy your blog so much. And like all great humor, it has a basis in truth. A big diamond (and I have simple taste so not too blingy) is an object of beauty. It isn't the most important thing, but I look, and I lust. At the end of the day, it is the giver that makes all the difference. I guess that is how men feel about boobies and the women they are attached to.

    Book club--YES! I assumed the post was in reference to Harrison's book, so I don't think Nicolas Sparks is a concern.

    I'll be in Austin next week! Yay! Not that you give a rip, but I am pretty darn pleased about it.

    Anyway, I just started following your blog this season--thanks for the laughs. I will be checking in during the off season and during the Bachelorette experiment/trainwreck.

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    1. I'm thrilled to have a new reader and a new commenter. You have a lot of catching up to do. Of course I care that you'll be in my fair city next week. SXSW, I'd imagine. Unfortunately, you won't find a local within miles of that fiasco. Enjoy Austin and try to get out of town to the West and enjoy the Hill Country if you can. Grab a beer at the Driskill Hotel if you can. If you're around on Sunday, their bloody mary bar is the best. DP

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    2. Although I do not live there at present, I am an Austin homegirl, so no SXSW for me! Bloody Sunday at the Driskill, however, is an entirely different story.

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  14. Still think it's pretty unusual for people to fall in love in a two month time period when they haven't spend a lot of that time together but strange things have happened in relationships that work. So I will give them the benefit of the doubt cause Whitney said she recognized Chris was the type of man she wanted when she saw him on Andi's season so she knew something about him before she came on this season.
    I hope those were fake candles that looked like the real thing cause how stupid would open flames be around all that hay?
    I will anxiously await your off season posts cause those turn out to be the most hilarious ones.
    Sal in Utah

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    1. Sal, You'll be happy to know I already know the subject of my first off season post. DP

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  15. Wilson Phillips still makes me laugh. And Shakespeare, nicely done. As always, love your viewpoint/wit/cynicism/optimism/reality check/make-me-laugh-out-loud ways.
    ~Cariss

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    1. ~Cariss, You're easily amused. That's why this works. I'm happy that I made you laugh. ~DP

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  16. Good and funny recap as usual. I always stick around during the off season and can't wait to read your review of Harrison's book. Thinking of buying it myself :-)
    I thought Becca looked stunning on the final rose but she was never into Chris. Sure she liked him, but that was about it. And the prospect of moving to the middle of nowhere Iowa must have been sobering.
    Cracked me up watching Chris walking through the frozen cornfields in fancy shoes, skinny jeans, and a scarf. Obviously the ABC intern picked up the outfit.
    Whitney, her voice drove me up the walls and I never saw her as a front runner until the end. In my opinion he settled for Whitney even though he wanted Becca. Maybe because Becca was acting so normal and non committal and that made her more attractive. She must be the first female on the show's franchise who faced reality and acted normal. She'll find a man who appreciates her for who she is and won't ask her to move to the middle of a frozen cornfield.
    You hit the nail on the head regarding Whitney's closing abilities. Wow, how many times did she tell Chris and the family she wanted to get married, have babies, and live on the farm? I felt she was "in love" with the idea of getting married and being part of a large family and anyone who offered that was ok with her. Just my two cents worth.
    During the rose ceremony I kept praying the fire department was on stand by just feet away from the barn. Who would place a million candles and all that hay together in a wooden barn? How many fire department violations did they make?
    Now the farmer will be on Dancing with the Stars like Sean. Sheesh! And to make it even "cuter", his partner's name is Whitney. Got to love ABC.
    Keep posting, I'll be around.

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    1. Valid points, as always, Liana. I saw a picture of you and Lincee from her meet and greet the other night. Glad to see you two finally met. DP

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  17. DP - weighing in for the first time this season to say you really out did yourself this show. Eliza agrees with you it's been the best by far lately.
    I found your boob/ring analogy hilarious, but know you're not surprised by that. As you've seen by my ring, that's clearly not what motivates me. Perhaps it's because I had the big ring once and it clearly did nothing for the marriage? I sold the center stone and built a deck. :)
    Here's to the off season!
    :) hm

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    1. HM, Is that the same deck I got drunk on the last time I visited? Speaking of visits....

      DP

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  18. Oh Some Guy, you seemed to have stepped into it with the boobs thing. Some people just can't get sarcasm I guess.

    I, as the owner of a not large diamond (that I love... Big rings are for fiances, not wives. Those things get taken off quickly when scratching the crap out of a baby while there is poop getting smeared all over it and you don't feel like you can wear it out running around and doing chores... like Whitney will not be wearing that thing when it's harvest time and she's driving a grain truck back and forth to the elevator... ah glamour) as well as a possessor of small boobs. Were any of my female friends gushing about how jealous of my ring they were... probably not. Were any of my husband's friends high-fiving over my chest... definitely not. Do I give a rat' a$#? Nope. But your point was that ALOT of women do judge the ring and how much the guy spent on it as a testimony to how much she is loved and a lot of guys wonder if the guy is marrying a chick with a nice rack. Your hyperbole was spot on and not at all offensive. Luckily for me, my husband found my butt and snark to be a worthy replacement for the boobs, and I saw his charm and Bradley Cooper doppleganger looks to be way more exciting to look at than some ring. Trade offs.

    Becca WAS relieved. It's 55 in Arlington today and 80 here in good old San Diego. Who could blame her. She may be the smartest person who was ever on the show. I am going to go walk around our little community here and see if I can run into her. I will let you know if I ever do. This is a 5 block town we work in, she can't be far.

    Whitney came across so desperate. I thought she was going to pull out a picture book out of her and Chris's composite children's faces and maybe even an illustrated depiction of her wanting to make babies with him... the popup book variety. She practically brought a card congratulating his parents on the birth of their new daughter. In any other world than bachelor land, those parents would have been like, wow, son, she seems sweet and well-meaning, but we are slightly concerned those babies she keeps talking about are going to end up being The Children of the Corn. I expect the movie reboot to happen soon, and we will all know what the basis of it will have been. Just like on Law and Order, there will be a disclaimer that says “The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event”... but we will know. Oh, we'll know...

    I will be continuing to keep up with you even in the off season, Some Guy.

    -Some Chick in San Diego

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    1. SCISD, I'll be looking forward to your recon work in San Diego. Send pictures. I'm glad you and your husband are happy with your rear end. Thanks for the comment. DP

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  19. I just don't get your fascination with Becca's looks. She's above average at best. She's also a bit manly, not as much as the crossfit chick, but still I swear you can see a slight Adam's apple from certain angles.

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    1. Valid points. HOWEVER, I've said all along she lacks personality. I couldn't date her. Her looks are above average but she's low maintenance which bumps her stock up. I'd rather have a naturally attractive easy to deal with girl than a gorgeous high maintenance pain in the ass. To say I'm fascinated with her is a bit of a stretch. I do think the dress she wore for the final ceremony was a great pick for her. That's all I was saying. I also think her head shot was very flattering. Would I have taken her to the final two based on what I saw on the show? Nope. Then again, I would have sent Whitney home on night one. DP

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    2. Whitney should have been sent packing on night one strictly based on her voice!

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  20. Funny Post! I guess I wish the best for all the contestants who make it to the end, but I do wonder when this ship is gonna sink. lol I can't help it. I love the drama and the train-wrecks! That's more entertaining than a couple who gets married on the show and the becomes the "expert" on relationships... *side eye* yes I'm looking at you Sean. What are your thoughts on the ATFR and the TWO Bachelorettes! NO RULES! lol

    Also, I too am a gal who doesn't really care about ring sizes and weddings. I've only had one bf and we talked about and planned to get married (but then he unexpectedly dumped me a month later, but that's another story). All I could think about when we were looking at rings was that I didn't want a diamond and I didn't want anything big! I don't even like wearing rings on my fingers so I probably wouldn't wear it anyway. Maybe I'd like a tattoo of a ring or something. And my ideal wedding is eloping in Vegas :P *sigh* a girl can dream lol

    -Mandy

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  21. I loved the "closing" comments and the "Christian Bale" pun - too funny. And I am also a fan of the vest statement as well.

    Did you hear the icy response Chris Harrison received for the "Who makes a better wife?" comment with the dual bachelorette? I couldn't stop giggling... that line was horrible and the live audience couldn't hide their reaction. I want to see Chris Harrison as the next bachelor now that we're talking about our host... Anyways - I haven't stuck around in the off season in the past, but I'm going to give it a try. Thanks as always for your writing!

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  22. i read all your posts this season and loved every one of them. thanks so much for the comic relief - you really have a gift :-) and i double laughed out loud tonight at the boob touching scenario - that would be hilarious if someone just started the trend! and every time you say "wilson philips" i laugh even harder.

    i'll check for the off-season.

    ~princi in SF

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  23. Thank you! Two quick things...Becca's conversation with Chris, in the hotel after meeting his family, was probably the most REAL of any conversation I've ever witnessed on this show. And Chris was a wreck. I think he really wanted to choose Becca, but how many times can a guy hear "I'm not in love with you" and still propose? Doomed.

    Also, I guess from reading here that they have a lot of Hollywood commitments to fulfill, but Chris and Whitney (especially Whitney) just didnt seem that excited on ATFR. I'll be shocked if she ever moves to Arlington.

    I'm a pretty new reader here, but I'm in it for the off-season too!

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  24. Chris seems like he doesn't particularly like Whitney. He has (very subtle) looks of almost cringing when she's around. I'm curious if he will actually go through with the wedding as he doesn't seem to be in love with her, or frankly even love her, to me.

    CK

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  25. DP, this was by far one of the better seasons and definitely some of your best recaps! I completely agree that Chris was definitely leaning more towards Becca. You hit the nail on the head with this comment: "We all knew what direction he was leaning. It’s too bad he talked himself into going the other direction."

    Maybe I'm too cynical but I just don't see the Whitney and Chris connection. She is way too desperate for a family and a replacement "mom and dad" and I wonder if she was craving that aspect more than a husband.... If you ask me, I think she was more in love with the idea of "being in love" and the cold, harsh reality of farm life is going to be a swift kick in the gut. For their sake, I hope I'm wrong but don't hate me if I don't hold my breath.

    I'm probably one of the few females that laughed hysterically over the engagement ring and boobs analogy. As always, spot on and simply genius. Come on, people. It's totally the truth and I for one appreciate your sense of humor (and by sense of humor, I mean sarcasm).

    I totally get you and appreciate you, Some Guy, and will be doing my best to follow you in the off-season. Your blog is always a welcome respite from my daily grind at work and I always look forward to a laugh with my morning coffee. Thanks for all of your efforts!

    P.S. Can't wait for Harrison's book to come out...sign me up for the book club! :)

    Rose in OC

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  26. Awesome, just awesome recap!

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