Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Doped Up and Run Down

Hello Readers.  I come bearing some bad news--at least temporarily.  I had some oral surgery on Friday and I've been so doped up on hydrocodone and Valium that I haven't had the time or the energy to put a thought together much less pick a topic.   Couple that with some other things in my life and I'm spent. 

The blog will be on a much needed hiatus this week but will return very soon.  I plan to give a pre-Bachelorette rundown on the latest round of stiffs picked to fawn over the Fivehead this season.  If you haven't seen them, go to ABC.com and clilck on the heading for the Bachelorette. 

In the meantime, I'm going to let my facial swelling and brusing subside and allow my motor neurons to reconnect.  Have a wonderful week.  I'll talk to you soon. 



  1. Hope you start to feel better soon. I will miss reading your wit and wisdom but I totally understand about not being yourself while under the influence of the medicine you are taking. Your column has made a busy and hectic tax season almost tolerable. Debbie in Selma, TX

  2. Hope you feel better soon...this might cheer you up... http://www.usmagazine.com/healthylifestyle/news/pippa-middleton-flaunts-hot-bikini-body-201195

  3. Bless your heart! Sorry to hear that you had to have surgery and that other things in your life seem to have you down, too. Surgery is not fun (never mind when it also means no Lone Star while medicated). Feel better and hope you get some much needed rest. We'll miss you!

  4. Hugs and get well wishes coming your way!

  5. Unless you're a masochist or love pain meds, sounds like a pretty awful way to spend a weekend. I hope Ashley did not perform or assist with the oral surgery and that you feel better soon, DP.

  6. I can't imagine Some Guy wants Fivehead to perform oral anything...unless, of course, the Valium & Hydrocodone mystically make her look like Emily or Pippa!

    Some Guy, I hope your drug-induced dreams give you plenty of inspiration for your comeback as you will be dearly missed this week!

    Feel better!

  7. Well, I started to check out the latest crop of bachelors, but did not make it very far. I got through the first five or six and had to quit. 2 out of the first 6 stuck out. Ben C. aka the gay lawyer. I thought being straight was the one criteria that must be met to be considered for this show. Guess I was wrong. The other bachelor was Chris D.- the sports marketing director....please. I'm guessing we will find out later that he actually sells memberships at Gold's Gym. He also most admires Barack Obama. I can't wait to hear why.

  8. DP, hope you get to feeling better soon and your life turns around for the better. Enjoy your rest and relaxation and here's to hoping you are back to some much needed Lone Stars sooner rather than later. Kim in Nevada

  9. A funny story about oral surgery to make you laugh (unless that’s painful. Then don’t laugh. DON’T LAUGH)

    I had my wisdom teeth removed during spring break my senior year of college (SPRING BREAK! WOOO!). Because there were issues with them, I had to be completely knocked out, my jaw dislocated, and all 4 teeth removed at once. I spent my entire break sleeping in my dad’s easy chair…. I could barely for two days because I couldn’t open my mouth – I had to lean back and kind of pour applesauce from a spoon into my mouth. Although, not being able to eat made the pain meds work REALLY fast.

    The oral surgeon told my me that I would need to pack my jaw in ice for the next couple of days, and that the easiest way to do that was to put some ice packs in a pair of pantyhose and tie them around my head.

    A couple days before my surgery, someone gifted my dad with some freshly made Ukrainian sausage (there’s no way to write that in a way that doesn’t sound dirty). Which he kept in a poorly sealed container in the freezer, so everything in there smelled like fresh sausage (FYI –fresh sausage does NOT smell good… not all spiced and delicious, but really just like ground up raw meat)… including my ice packs. I had to spend several days in excruciating pain, with what smelled like raw sausages strapped to my head. Oh. And I’m also a vegetarian.

    I hope you feel better, that your pain meds work well, and that you are good as new when this is all over. :) (oh and seriously? that pantyhose trick is awesome for holding ice packs on your face)

  10. omg, that was so long! sorry! :(

  11. Hey DP,
    Take it easy and I hope you're feeling better soon!
    All the best,
    Clare 2

  12. I hope you feel better this week. If I see anything humorous and sarcastic I'll post it here for you!

  13. Feel better DP! I'm cracking up at Marus' sausage-tainted pantyhose ice pack story. Does sound like a good idea, but boy, ya probably will look really silly! (and asking somebody to go buy you some hose while you're doped up .... hmmm!)
    Will miss your blog this week! Take care.

  14. Hope you heal quickly, DP! Saw a story on yahoo about Pippa and some old topless sun bathing pics :)
    I looked at the stiffs and I guess I'm gonna root for West. Jeff would be my favorite if his picture wasn't a mysterious silhouette. I liked his u-turn answer for some reason. Oh, and there is no way that Frank is 29 years old. No way.

  15. I had to lean back and kind of pour applesauce from a spoon into my mouth.