Hello, Readers. Welcome to the Episode TWO recap of the show we're all forcing ourselves to watch this season. Yes, I know I missed a posting last week. Allow me to vent a bit before the real fun starts.
As I mentioned, I did not post last week. For those of you who check here on a regular basis, let me first thank you for caring enough to come back week after week to read the drivel I post here. I really do appreciate each person who takes the time to read and/or comment on the post.
However, I was a bit put off to see some, quite frankly, nasty messages and e-mails from some of you threatening to never read again due to my delay or lack of posting. Please allow me to respond.
In my real life, I am the Supervising Partner of a law firm with six offices in four states currently with a very heavy and active Federal and State court litigation docket. Last week, I left Austin on a 5am flight on Tuesday morning to Ft. Lauderdale and hit Nashville, Dallas, and Houston in the following two days for work before getting home to Austin at 10:30 p.m. on Thursday night--three days after the big show.
I say that not to brag--believe me, that's nothing to brag about--but as a statement of facts demonstrative of my inability to post on time all the time. I enjoy writing this blog. In fact, it was started, in part, to give me a creative outlet far away from the boring world of legal writing and dragging a rolling bag through airports.
It's been great, but the blog doesn't pay for my almost unquenchable penchant for German cars and fancy watches, and it certainly doesn't pay for the mortgage on my house or the 30 packages a day Mrs. SGIA has delivered to our doorstep from Amazon Prime. We should be getting a drone assigned exclusively to our house any day now.
If I miss a post every now and then it's not due to some carefully planned conspiracy to deprive you of your right to screw around at work or escape your kids after a long day. There aren't guys in straw fedoras and black and white suits lurking behind the Grassy Knoll in an effort to prevent you from successfully reading my blog each week.
If I happen not to post it's due to an inability to post rather than a desire to not post. Please forgive me. If that's still not good enough to prevent you from dropping negative comments or sending me emails about what a shitty person I am, then please, find another blog. You're getting all I can give here.
Thanks for listening. Now the fun stuff. Let's get to it.
As the long-time readers know, I'm usually better at this when I'm sufficiently edgy. Today is one of those days. Let's see what happens.
As I mentioned, I did not post last week. For those of you who check here on a regular basis, let me first thank you for caring enough to come back week after week to read the drivel I post here. I really do appreciate each person who takes the time to read and/or comment on the post.
However, I was a bit put off to see some, quite frankly, nasty messages and e-mails from some of you threatening to never read again due to my delay or lack of posting. Please allow me to respond.
In my real life, I am the Supervising Partner of a law firm with six offices in four states currently with a very heavy and active Federal and State court litigation docket. Last week, I left Austin on a 5am flight on Tuesday morning to Ft. Lauderdale and hit Nashville, Dallas, and Houston in the following two days for work before getting home to Austin at 10:30 p.m. on Thursday night--three days after the big show.
I say that not to brag--believe me, that's nothing to brag about--but as a statement of facts demonstrative of my inability to post on time all the time. I enjoy writing this blog. In fact, it was started, in part, to give me a creative outlet far away from the boring world of legal writing and dragging a rolling bag through airports.
It's been great, but the blog doesn't pay for my almost unquenchable penchant for German cars and fancy watches, and it certainly doesn't pay for the mortgage on my house or the 30 packages a day Mrs. SGIA has delivered to our doorstep from Amazon Prime. We should be getting a drone assigned exclusively to our house any day now.
If I miss a post every now and then it's not due to some carefully planned conspiracy to deprive you of your right to screw around at work or escape your kids after a long day. There aren't guys in straw fedoras and black and white suits lurking behind the Grassy Knoll in an effort to prevent you from successfully reading my blog each week.
If I happen not to post it's due to an inability to post rather than a desire to not post. Please forgive me. If that's still not good enough to prevent you from dropping negative comments or sending me emails about what a shitty person I am, then please, find another blog. You're getting all I can give here.
Thanks for listening. Now the fun stuff. Let's get to it.
As the long-time readers know, I'm usually better at this when I'm sufficiently edgy. Today is one of those days. Let's see what happens.
First off Chad from Dallas is an idiot. Even in Dallas this guy still stands out amongst even the most egregious idiots. He's like the Michael Jordan of idiots: He can be contained but he cannot be stopped.
I think the words "Meathead" and "Douchebag" were thrown around by his peers like meaningless compliments at a rooftop, post-group date cocktail party last night. I suppose those are sufficiently accurate descriptions of his behavior. However, I think it goes beyond that.
Any guy who does shirtless chin ups on a pergola with his supplement-filled suitcase chained to his waist in front of the cameras is a rare breed indeed. The irony is that he continually accused the other guys of being fake and disingenuous over the course of the episode. If that's the real you, Chad, please get some help. If his ego were any more inflated you could stencil the word "Hindenburg" on his side. If I had to hazard a guess I'd bet that Chad will share a similar fate as the bloated hydrogen dirigible, but he'll stick around long enough to serve as a catalyst to the meltdown of a few guys before burning himself out.
I found it telling that his work history includes car and real estate sales. Sounds about right. The sad thing is that there are a lot of you reading this who find that guy appealing because you A.) like his confidence, and B.) think that if you could date him you could change him. Poor decisions aside, take my advice and don't ever date a "Chad."
I think the words "Meathead" and "Douchebag" were thrown around by his peers like meaningless compliments at a rooftop, post-group date cocktail party last night. I suppose those are sufficiently accurate descriptions of his behavior. However, I think it goes beyond that.
Any guy who does shirtless chin ups on a pergola with his supplement-filled suitcase chained to his waist in front of the cameras is a rare breed indeed. The irony is that he continually accused the other guys of being fake and disingenuous over the course of the episode. If that's the real you, Chad, please get some help. If his ego were any more inflated you could stencil the word "Hindenburg" on his side. If I had to hazard a guess I'd bet that Chad will share a similar fate as the bloated hydrogen dirigible, but he'll stick around long enough to serve as a catalyst to the meltdown of a few guys before burning himself out.
I found it telling that his work history includes car and real estate sales. Sounds about right. The sad thing is that there are a lot of you reading this who find that guy appealing because you A.) like his confidence, and B.) think that if you could date him you could change him. Poor decisions aside, take my advice and don't ever date a "Chad."
Fire Fighter Date.
I found it odd that Grant was invited on the fire fighter date. It's too bad they didn't have a Luxury Real Estate Salesman date. Chad would have had an opportunity to shine beyond an impromptu set of pergola pull-ups while weighted down by his supplement-filled suitcase.
Wells is a pu**y and he admits it. I thought it said a lot about him that he kept his head down and tried to compete despite being so far out of his element that he knew he didn't have a chance. It reminded me of that challenge on Bachelor Pad when resident dunce Lacy had to think her way through a puzzle. Bless both of their hearts.
Wells knew he was physically outclassed, but he used it to his benefit. All he has to do now is ditch the morning beanie and he has a legit shot at the crown assuming JoJo can see past Chad's pecs.
I found it odd that Grant was invited on the fire fighter date. It's too bad they didn't have a Luxury Real Estate Salesman date. Chad would have had an opportunity to shine beyond an impromptu set of pergola pull-ups while weighted down by his supplement-filled suitcase.
Wells is a pu**y and he admits it. I thought it said a lot about him that he kept his head down and tried to compete despite being so far out of his element that he knew he didn't have a chance. It reminded me of that challenge on Bachelor Pad when resident dunce Lacy had to think her way through a puzzle. Bless both of their hearts.
Wells knew he was physically outclassed, but he used it to his benefit. All he has to do now is ditch the morning beanie and he has a legit shot at the crown assuming JoJo can see past Chad's pecs.
Chad's alpha male antics hiding his deep seeded insecurity (and probable homosexual panic) were unwatchable up until the shirtless, poolside sing along featuring all of the other dudes singing custom-made JoJo-based lyrics written by James Taylor (the curly-haired chucklehead one, not the Fire and Rain used to be married to Carly Simon one). At that point I started to agree with
Chad. Hell, at that point I hoped he'd do more supplement suitcase pull ups.
Luke,
Grant, Wells (as if he wasn't already exhausted from his heat exhaustion) are the special selections in the fireman challenge to win extra time with JoJo.
They put her in a pair of fireman pants, a white skin tight tank top with red suspenders atop a burning tower so the men can and surmount various fire-related obstacles and come to her rescue. The only thing they forgot to do was to hose her down with icy water before putting her atop the tower like a piece of venison for the wolves to hunt.
And just how does this not objectify women?
I'd like some comments in the Comment section about that little scenario. Look, I'm as traditional as the next guy. I open doors for women, Mrs. SGIA always orders first at dinner, and I'd be the first guy give up my seat in any crowded bar, bus, or restaurant if a woman wanted it. That's the way it works where I live and everyone is fine with it. There is, however, something about the whole helpless maiden in distress scenario that bugged me about that date; especially since Wells could have very well been the one who needed actual rescuing. Hell, maybe I'm overthinking it.
Grant wins. Of course he does. He's a fireman. With fire training. And a degree in Fireology, or whatever it's called.
They put her in a pair of fireman pants, a white skin tight tank top with red suspenders atop a burning tower so the men can and surmount various fire-related obstacles and come to her rescue. The only thing they forgot to do was to hose her down with icy water before putting her atop the tower like a piece of venison for the wolves to hunt.
And just how does this not objectify women?
I'd like some comments in the Comment section about that little scenario. Look, I'm as traditional as the next guy. I open doors for women, Mrs. SGIA always orders first at dinner, and I'd be the first guy give up my seat in any crowded bar, bus, or restaurant if a woman wanted it. That's the way it works where I live and everyone is fine with it. There is, however, something about the whole helpless maiden in distress scenario that bugged me about that date; especially since Wells could have very well been the one who needed actual rescuing. Hell, maybe I'm overthinking it.
Grant wins. Of course he does. He's a fireman. With fire training. And a degree in Fireology, or whatever it's called.
Grant
and JoJo have some one on one. She looks
great. I'll say it again, she obviously did the work in the off season.
Ding
Dong Date Card. Brandon reads it whilst looking nihilistic and acting like his Emo Phillips impersonation isn't on purpose. He's about as harmless as a sponge.
“Derek, Love is full of choices. JoJo”.
“Derek, Love is full of choices. JoJo”.
Cocktail Party.
Wells
has one on one and drops that he has a bloodhound named Carl. All in all, solid work for the guy who got Ames-ed on the group date. I like him and think he should go further than he will. He's interesting, humble, and seems to be a real dude amongst a sea of tanning cream, shaved legs, and supplement-filled suitcases. Alas, he's not alpha enough to keep her attention in the fray. He'll stick around but will ultimately be one of those guys we hate to see go home.
Evan has kids. We know that because he says it in a five second clip before they cut away to yet another rant by the protein packing, testosterone test tube named Chad.
The ex-swimmer, Robby, wears a turtle neck and a sport coat. He looked like he just took second in a gin rummy tournament in Miami Beach. Turtle neck and a sport coat? Ok, Captain.
He seems nice enough but is WAY to metrosexual for my taste. Then again, I'm not dating him. JoJo will keep him around until the top 4 or 5. If he's got any game he'll get to the home town. She's used to seeing manicured men like him in and around Dallas.
Evan has kids. We know that because he says it in a five second clip before they cut away to yet another rant by the protein packing, testosterone test tube named Chad.
The ex-swimmer, Robby, wears a turtle neck and a sport coat. He looked like he just took second in a gin rummy tournament in Miami Beach. Turtle neck and a sport coat? Ok, Captain.
He seems nice enough but is WAY to metrosexual for my taste. Then again, I'm not dating him. JoJo will keep him around until the top 4 or 5. If he's got any game he'll get to the home town. She's used to seeing manicured men like him in and around Dallas.
She also likes Luke but I think he’ll fade unless they have some kind of "amazing moment" on a date or something. He's a loner cowboy type and is bound to lose his mystery before the end. Then again, she's into the Texas thing and he's a guy's guy which will play well once Chad implodes.
Date
Rose. Wells gets date rose. Let's be fair, near heat exhaustion should equal a rose. Luke says “Fuss-trated” another time but seemed to acknowledge, at least tacitly, that dehydration and a swollen brain should be worth something. Incidentally, Luke : Fuss-trated as Desiree : Im-poor-ant.
On
on one. The Hipster one ups Wells with an even stupider hat than that Rastafarian thing Wells wore to the morning pow wow. To be fair, I'm not from Nashville. Perhaps the Rastafarian community has a strong foothold amongst the DJ population there.
Derek dons softball shirt nearly identical to the one he wore in his head shot save for the fact that the color scheme was the opposite. Someone went to Old Navy's seasonal clearance sale and got one hell of a 3 of 1 deal on those shirts before leaving for California. I can't wait to see the third one in the bunch.
Derek dons softball shirt nearly identical to the one he wore in his head shot save for the fact that the color scheme was the opposite. Someone went to Old Navy's seasonal clearance sale and got one hell of a 3 of 1 deal on those shirts before leaving for California. I can't wait to see the third one in the bunch.
The date was uneventful. Private jet to San Fran and some innocuous relationship conversation at dinner. He wouldn't have gotten that date if she wasn't interested, but I didn't see a lot of chemistry but he got a Date Rose.
More
singing back and the mansion. Apparently, Chucklehead Taylor wasn't satisfied with one stanza about JoJo. Daniel and Chad have a macho
black tank top chat which includes a lot of underlying gay tension and protein shake
metaphors. So weird.
Third
date.
Jordan, Christian, Nick, James, James Chucklehead Taylor, Alex, Chad, “Prove your love to me and the nation.”
Jordan, Christian, Nick, James, James Chucklehead Taylor, Alex, Chad, “Prove your love to me and the nation.”
ESPN
headquarters. Alex drops “super douche”
on Chad and Chad continues to brutalize Alex about his lack of height. JoJo arrives in lack knee boots with the black
pants and lacy top. She looked like Jack Sparrow with less eye liner.
The Sports
Nation talk show hosts oversee a seriously dumb series of challenges. I couldn't even watch it. Chad ramps up the assholish conduct and drops a "Naggy" on JoJo to a chorus of Oohs and Aahs from the dudes.
By the way, why would all of them feel the need to act like the Real Housewives of (Insert Name of Major City) and incessantly complain about it before "confronting" Chad about his bad behavior? Why not just leave it alone and let him hang himself with JoJo?
By the way, why would all of them feel the need to act like the Real Housewives of (Insert Name of Major City) and incessantly complain about it before "confronting" Chad about his bad behavior? Why not just leave it alone and let him hang himself with JoJo?
James Taylor inexplicably wins the big Power Ranking Challenge and gets a rose.
Cocktail
party at The Houdini Estate.
James
Taylor continues to play his one note and drops a weird napkin written poem on JoJo. He gets a kiss less romantic the the last one his grandmother gave him. She wasn't impressed.
Chad continues to tear apart all the guys . . . and all of the free red meat he can put his hands on. He’s right
about most of it, honestly, but he has to pull back on the macho Alpha Male
behavior and stop referring to himself as "A Man". We all know that he's either super insecure beneath the Tarzan act or he's afflicted with an actual diagnosable psychological disorder.
JoJo seemingly handles the knuckle dragging well. It's difficult to tell if she's on to it and just riding it out for the sake of private jet dates with guys she's actually interested in or if she's buying it a bit. Time will tell, I suppose. Based on her hometown
last season she’s used to the alpha male controlling bullshit.
The Date
Rose goes to James Taylor. Pretty cool, James. You've Got a Friend.
Cocktail
Party. She shows up in sparkles and Chad is waiting with wine and a tie matching her dress. Coincidence? Do we even need to ask that question?
It's apparently gray suit night at the mansion. This season's gray suit is last season's colorful socks and deep V t-shirt.
It's apparently gray suit night at the mansion. This season's gray suit is last season's colorful socks and deep V t-shirt.
Vinny
remained sober, which was nice.
"Blizzarding" is apparently a verb. In an inexplicable moment, Chase gets JoJo mittens and "makes it snow." Poor Guy. He's clearly taking it where he can get it. He seems like the most normal dude in the house and my guess is that he'll rally in the next few shows. Playing it semi-safe while the idiots sword fight it out with the self-proclaimed alpha male has worked in the past.
In another bizarre moment, JoJo and Will TP the house. Not to be outdone, Christian strips down to his Jockey shorts and invites JoJo to take a bath with him. Classy move. She looked horrified.
Chad
successfully stirs the pot. At this point I was so over it I almost turned off the show. Almost.
The other dudes, spurred on by the diminutive yet stocky Alex pull a Real Housewives-esque confrontation leaving Chad unscathed. This idiot will stick around until he's no longer useful or he melts down enough to get kicked to the curb by the producers. Either way, his days are limited.
Harrison
shows up, dings the thingy, and the roses are dispersed.
Roses.
1. Wells
2. Derek
3. James Taylor
4. Alex
5. Christian
6. Robby and his bowtie
7. Luke
8. Chase
9. Jordan
10. Grant
11. Ali
12. Daniel
13. James F.
14. Nick
15. Vinny
16. Evan
17. Chad
Gone.
Will
James
S.
Brandon
At least we didn't have to see any more of this guy. He's probably off being a "pilot".
At least we didn't have to see any more of this guy. He's probably off being a "pilot".
Great post, SGIA! I'm sad to hear that you had a steaming cup of vitriol tossed your way like a Real Housewife of Wherever might wield her wine glass. I love your posts and am grateful you take the time to share your insight and wit. I'll keep checking in to see what's next, and so will many others!
ReplyDeleteAlso...Chad makes me glad I've never been to Dallas. I assume there's a meat shortage in that town.
There may be a shortage of meat but definitely not a shortage of cheese.
DeleteAmazing. 20 points to you.
DeleteReal world comes first - and thank you for not forcing a recap of last week. Because seriously, they all still look alike.
ReplyDeleteAnd I mulled "deep-seeded" for a while, trying to figure out the intricately laid double entendre. But perhaps deep-seated is it? At least per Grammarist, by way of Dr. Google. (http://grammarist.com/usage/deep-seeded-deep-seated/) Grammarist agrees, blizzarding is NOT a word.
It ALL objectifies women. Conveniently it also objectifies men.
Ann, thanks for mulling. I don't always hit the mark, not does my spell check. Regardless, perfection is never my goal. DP
DeleteSGIA,
ReplyDeleteDon't let the turkeys get you down (that statement dates me but what the hell)! The reasonable and sane among us know that you only do this for fun and WE are lucky you even do it at all. Many Bach blogs fall by the wayside and it takes a special persistence to keep going year after year!
I thought the chad angle a little over done...understatement! Wanted to see a little more Nick, Wells, and Derek. This show actually has some real people that could make it a little less inane but maybe that's too much to hope for in today's world?
Pat in Boise
Thanks, Pat. Sadly, inane is what we crave.
DeleteTo quote the immortal Taylor Swift, "the haters are gonna hate, hate hate." EFF em -- this isn't your job, and we love whatever and whenever you post. Loved -- Chad will share a similar fate as the bloated hydrogen dirigible. Brandon reads it whilst looking nihilistic and acting like his Emo Phillips impresonation isn't on purpose. He's about as harmless as a sponge. I can't wait to see the third one in the bunch. You've got a friend. Blizzarding is apparently a verb. -- All in all, "solid" as you would say.
ReplyDeleteLet's acknowledge you are a complete gentleman. And that firefighter stunt totally objectified her. But, she didn't object, so there's that. Sad. Thanks for the post!
I never thought I'd be inspired by Taylor Swift. Thanks? DP
DeleteDP, I am shocked some of your readers actually wrote to bitch you out for not posting last week. Seriously? Don't these folks have a life? So sorry you were the recipient of that B.S. Hope you let it roll off your back.
ReplyDeleteI loved your post commenting on the parade of chachs that are this season's hopeful guys. First of all, they all look alike. I am having a tough time telling them apart except for Chad. But then again, how can you forget him?
I was going to comment on that post because it was so funny, then got busy with life and never got around to it.
When I didn't see your post last week I just assumed you were busy with work and/or traveling.
Lord, Chad is a piece of work and last night's show was more the Chad show than a Bachelorette episode. I was this close from turning it off. As a matter of fact, I don't know if I will be able to stick around the whole season. I may just read yours and Lincee's blogs to keep current and then watch the last couple of shows.
By the way, watching Chad eat constantly made me think this was the first time I've seen anyone actually eat on this show. The guy is a carnivorous jerk.
Not feeling the love for JoJo either. I think she is falling for Chad because she likes that type of guy. Heck, she lives in Dallas and look at her brothers. I predict he'll be around for several weeks.
Glad to have you back and with an "edge".
Keep up the good work
"Carnivourous Jerk." Solid. I may borrow that. Thanks for the kind words. I'm over it though. people are entitled to their opinion. DP
DeleteWhy would your readers bitch to you about your not posting? Classless. For what it's worth, this was a great recap, per usual! I think my final four picks are Derek, Grant, Aaron Rodgers' brother, and Luke. James Taylor and Robbie may make hometowns. I think Chad will be eliminated the week it gets trimmed down to six. Jojo seems to have an assortment of chaches to choose from.
ReplyDeleteTiny note (unless someone before me already pointed this out)-- Chad the Chach is from Tulsa, OK. I'd rather he were from Dallas, because then we wouldn't be from the same state!!
Thanks for clarifying. I had him confused with jojo's ex. Then again, Dallas is not that far from Oklahoma.
DeleteI'm sure I speak for all us fellow Tulsans...We're soooo embarrassed by this chach!!
DeleteI'm sure I speak for all us fellow Tulsans...We're soooo embarrassed by this chach!!
DeleteI agree that the tower thing somewhat objectified Jojo, but the objectification bar on this show is pretty damn high. Compared to riding tractors down a public street in bikinis or sumo wrestling in ill-fitting loin cloths, I can't get too worked up about standing on a building fully dressed.
ReplyDeleteI've been checking for a post every few days and just hoped you were well. Sorry to hear about the vitriol.
Fair point. It definitely wasn't the most egregious moment we've seen.
DeleteI checked for a post every day and I'm glad you are well and that the delay was just...life! You handled your haters beautifully and if they don't like it they can shove it!
ReplyDeleteAfter the latest episode basically being the Chad Show, I knew you were gonna have good things to say and you didn't disappoint!
Fav parts/stray thoughts:
"Fireology", lmao!
Now I'm also gonna be on the lookout for the 3rd Old Navy shirt
I also do not understand the need for these group confrontations! Alex is far too concerned with the meathead. Have he not seen this show before?? Lol, usually that guy that's preoccupied with another guy doesn't make it... hmm, they would make for an interesting 2 on 1 date though, hahaha!
Mandy in NOLA (I wonder if I use the same handle when I comment lol)
Let me know when you see that 3rd Old Navy Shirt, will you? DP
DeleteEvan looks like a guy who fences on weekends. Evan looks like a guy who uses a feather quill pen. Evan looks like a guy who rides an olde timey bike with one big wheel. Evan looks like a barista.
ReplyDeleteEvan looks like someone who protests too much.
DeleteI'm sorry people feel entitled to complain about something you do for fun - that's really incredible to me. As gross and clearly full of issues as Chad is, I couldn't help but agree it's ridiculous to say you're in love with someone after 2 days but alas, that's the show. I think I'm also worn out on increasingly over the top mustache twirling villains like Chad or last season's Olivia. Are they really that way and Fleiss is making them the focus to add intrigue to an aging brand or do they do it to get the screen time? Which came first - the chicken or the egg. The main takeaway for me from the ESPN date was GOOD LORD Aaron Rodger's brother's jeans were tight.
ReplyDeleteThanks for making me laugh. Eff the haters :)
No need to apologize. I was a bit sensitive this week. I'm over it. And yes, those were some tight jeans. DP
DeleteI love your blog. Take your time! Sorry to hear people are badgering you. No worries, you don't owe us anything!!! Just glad to read your thoughts when you have time :)
ReplyDeleteThank you very much, Anon. I appreciate it. DP
DeleteUm, ok, if people are taking the time to send you nasty emails about a blog... they need to get a life. That being said, I HAVE been checking for your post, so I'm glad it's here!
ReplyDeleteChad is terrible. He has a strong abuser profile (emotional if not physical) and wow does he give me the heebie jeebies. I wish they would stop showing him for the whole two hours. I need a break. I don't think Jojo is too into it, her body language when he stalked her outside the house pre-rose ceremony was not positive. She is playing along to avoid pissing him off, and keeping the producers happy by keeping him around. If she is suddenly 'blindsided' or 'heartbroken' by Chad it's definitely an act.
Wells is my favorite, but definitely not her type.
As for the damsel in distress challenge, I guess I saw it as more of a race - just like they do in every season. Remember the farm/milking/pig catching? Or the wedding dress relay race? I didn't take it as more than that.
EGM
EGM, She'll kick him to the curb when the show is done with him. Thanks for reading and commenting. DP
Deleteglad you're back! i agree that the "save the damsel in distress" bit was a little objectifying and cringe-worthy. and i thought she LOVED james taylor's poem--she teared up!!!
ReplyDeleteMeh. If she loved the poem he'd have gotten a legit kiss. She was probably crying due to the fact she had to listen to it. DP
DeleteI agree Some Guy. As he was reading, I was hiding behind the pillow. So stupid. Kiss was barely there.
DeleteWelcome back, DP! First, I need to take a second to defend your honor. :) I can't even believe that some people have the audacity to complain to you about not posting! The saying "Get A Life!" comes quickly to mind. I know you said you are over it but for whatever it's worth, please know that the majority of us sincerely appreciate the time you take out of your busy day to entertain us. And for those of us that know what you do for a living, you obviously have one of the most time consuming jobs on the planet so trust me when I tell you that we are more than lucky to have you post anything at all!!! So, I'll just end this rant by saying we do appreciate your time and you are ALWAYS worth the wait!!! :)
ReplyDeleteOkay, on to the good stuff... these were my favorite comments from your post:
"Brandon reads it whilst looking nihilistic and acting like his Emo Phillips impersonation isn't on purpose." Emo Phillips!!!! Some Guy, that was genius!
"The Date Rose goes to James Taylor. Pretty cool, James. You've Got a Friend." - Hilarious!
Right now my favorites are Wells (how could you not love this guy?!?), Luke, Jordan and Alex. And maybe Chase.... still to early to tell.
Thanks again for ignoring the haters and continuing to entertain us. I always look forward to your posts. :)
Rose in OC
My eyes, my eyes! Was enjoying your post immensely and then had to see Jake at the end. Did he really pose shirtless like that or is his head pasted on someone's body? Must barf now.
DeleteGo easy on the defending my honor, Rose. There isn't much there to defend. And sadly, that IS a real picture of the Douchebag from Denton. DP
DeleteI do totally get your damsel in distress point, but I kind of get the feeling that Jojo is into that kind of thing. She seems like the type of girl who likes to play damsel and be rescued. I feel like so many of the early group dates are just physical activities to see how the meatheads handle the competition and to try to get fights.
ReplyDeleteMy husband was disappointed in the evenings high necklines.
Also, the whole ESPN thing seemed like a Jojo audition for her life after the show. I am sure Jordan wishes it was one for him.
I think she aced it.
DeleteDitto. Nice work, Nicole in WI.
DeleteI always figured if you didn't post it was because you were too busy with your real job. No worries. I'm not one of the haters, but I do miss you like crazy when you're not there.
ReplyDeleteI am already thoroughly and completely sick of the Chad Show. It's not about Jojo any longer, but the Douche Canoe. I wonder what Production's thinking, making this douche the lead. I ended up watching the majority of this show with the sound off because the douche canoe's voice made me want to break things.
two douche canoe references in one comment. Perhaps that's some sort of record. Nice work. DP
DeleteI love your posts, SG and I take them when I can get them. I write my own recaps (before reading anyone else's!), so I understand how long they take to put together! Your most recent two have been some of my favorites, though. I look forward to seeing your take on this crazy show in weeks to come!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kirsty. Favorites? Keep your standards low and you won't be disappointed. Thanks for the nice words! DP
DeleteDP-loved the 'edge' and love your rants...it takes true talent to put into words what most of us are thinking but can't manage to construct in an organized thought. keep doing what you do!
ReplyDeleteI too am a big fan of Wells (bless his heart) but agree that he will get lost amoungst the macho. i'll take getting woo-ed by music and laughter over protein powder fueled pull ups any day of the week. i'm happy to see that this quarterback's brother has a tad more substance than the last one we saw and we won't have to revisit too many 'glory days' in the weeks to come!
love the posts!mk
Solid feedback, MK. I agree. Sadly, nice guys DO finish last. DP
DeleteI'm astounded that people would write you nasty messages because you weren't able to post last week. Wow. Just...wow.
ReplyDeleteI am one of the few that likes Chad, or at least I do more so after this episode. I can appreciate that he's not going to give in to the usual disingenuous "I'm in love with her already" bullshit after knowing her for a day. And learning about his mom dying (and subsequently reading more about how he spent all his free time with her over the last 4 years and was with her while she died) gave some insight into why he is how he is. His chachy suitcase pull-ups are over the top, and he's for sure trying to overcompensate for his insecurities with his alpha male behavior, but I don't think he's as terrible as they're making him out to be. And I appreciate his excessive meat consumption, all the way to the rose ceremony! He'd make it to my top 5 or 6, with Luke, Chase, Derek, and James Taylor going to hometowns. Not sure JoJo will agree with that.
Props to you for owning it, Jessica. I'm certain the edit is skewed but he's definitely over the top. I'm glad someone benefitted from the meat consumption besides his physique. DP
DeleteI have never posted in your comments. I have been reading this blog for many years. Long enough to know you are a fan of To Kill A Mockingbird.
ReplyDelete"I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide" Harper Lee
The same can be said of Lawyers.
Nice response to he haters..... Thanks for the years of laughs.
Longtime, putting up with the nasty emails was worth the wait to have you leave a comment. I don't often get to thank readers individually and it's always nice to do that. Thanks for the kind words and thanks for sticking with me for all of these years. You're like Boo Radley hiding behind the curtains yet watching over me in case of danger. DP
DeleteEmo Phillips reference....clearly we are long lost friends.
ReplyDeletePerhaps. Tell me that wasn't a good reference. He looks just like him. DP
DeleteSpot on.
DeleteJust one thing to say.....I hope Wells is the next bachelor.
ReplyDeleteMeh. He'll have to rally if that's the case. I doubt they'd choose a dude who doesn't finish in at least the top 4. I don't disagree, though. It would be nice to have a normal dude in there for a change. DP
DeleteThe guy offering her the bath was so creepy! My teenage daughter said, please tell me that doesn't happen in real life!" She sounded as horrified as Jojo looked! As always I enjoyed the recap, thanks!
ReplyDeleteSure that happens in real life. However, it's usually followed by the SWAT team kicking in the door and arresting the guy whose idea it was. DP
DeleteSome Guy, you are always worth the wait! Thanks for another great post.
ReplyDeleteKR in RI
You're welcome, KR. And thank you as well. DP
DeleteOh dear. I'm a little bit nervous to complain, but I'm afraid I must. Not about the delay; that's always understood. But to mention 30 amazon packages for Mrs. SGIA and not tell us anything about what they are? Isn't she mysterious enough in her looks-like-one-of-your-favorite-movie-stars way? Is it a sad state of affairs that I'm significantly more interested in your wife's purchasing powers than the protein-packing perplexingly pitiful and pompous petitioning paramour that is Chad?
ReplyDeleteI adore your recaps. I bounce back and forth between you and Lincee - and I loved when you two did the he-said she-said bit a few years ago.
Long live Wells! (by far my favorite)
Wendy, as a woman you should know that anything ordered on Amazon Prime and delivered 2 hours later to the house falls into the "Things We Need" category. Frankly, I don't even ask anymore. I just move the box from the porch into the house. Props on the alliteration and thanks for reading for all of these years. DP
DeleteEdgy and I love it. Hysterical as always.
ReplyDeleteThanks. You have the gift of brevity. DP
DeleteIt would be great if all your followers and all their followers and so on and so on, would flood ABC demanding Wells for the next bachelor! Just saying.........
ReplyDeleteB in NY
I'm not sold on Wells as the next Bachelor. I'm not unsold, however. DP
DeleteHey, SGIA.
ReplyDeleteIt's terrible that people think they are somehow entitled to a blog from you. I did knock someone in the comments section last week for threatening to not read your blog anymore because you were late in posting.
As far as I can tell, you're not getting paid for this and even if you were, that's not an excuse.
Bloggers have lives. Blogging takes a long time. Some bloggers have more resources to help get their blogs out faster than others. Bloggers are people and very few get much reward out of it other than the knowledge that they were able to express themselves and entertain people in the process.
I'm disabled. It takes me about 9 hours to blog about one episode of this show and it requires 8 hours out of every day to make sure I survive to the next day. I was killing myself trying to get my blogs out by Tuesday night. I finally gave up and told my readers the blog will be out on Thursday. Most people seemed to understand.
Anyone who doesn't respect the time and effort it takes for you to entertain them isn't worth listening to. They're giant babies. You weren't put on this earth to take care of them.
I feel you pain. Your blog is great and I enjoy your cantankerous vibe.
Thank you for taking the time you do to write and post your recaps. I'm certain most of your readers appreciate them.
You can read my recap here: http://cafeemily.com/bachelorette-2016-recap-episode-2/
Emily, Thanks for the kind words. I wish you success with your blog as well. DP
DeleteDP/SG: Solid, as always. I'm glad you put the put the comments from the entitled super douches behind you.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone above covered my feedback as well so my only comment is that I hope that rather than JoJo throwing Douche to the curb, it will be the-guy-with-the-black-headband-that-escorted-{name]-to-the-limo (sorry if I got that wrong but close enough). Forcibly. Or better yet, Harrison!
aGIWB
Ezra is a Realtor® at Sotheby’s International Realty in West Hollywood, California. He is able to assist you with your real estate needs in the greater Los Angeles area. Ezra specializes in representing real estate agent in los Angeles and sellers in Beverly Hills, Bel-Air, Homby Hills, Sunset Strip, Hollywood Hills, and Laurel Canyon, as well as beachside cities stretching from Long Beach to Malibu.
ReplyDelete