Friday, November 11, 2011

Off Season Post 25: It's Trial Time in Texas

Hello, Faithful Readers. As always, welcome back to yet another week where you've generously tasked me with filling the white computer screen in front of me in the name of allowing you to escape whatever aspect of your life needs escaping for the 20 or so minutes it takes you to plow through my mess of ideas. Before I begin this week, I have a few requests.

It's that time of the Off Season when--notwithstanding the two trial settings currently looming over my head--Some Guy begins to get thin on ideas. Believe it or not, it's difficult to fill 10 single-spaced pages with an idea drawn from scratch in a matter of hours without the benefit of an overproduced, clearly contrived reality show for assistance. Top that off with my affection for Lone Star Beer and you begin to see my dilemma. In short, I need your help.

Like a Vietnamese prostitute on the outskirts of an American military base, I'm soliciting you for ideas for my next few posts. My challenge to you is to get creative. Stuff Chicks Like will likely be resurrected before the January launch of the next season of The Bachelor so feel free to send in those ideas. However, I'm looking for that special idea; that spark that lights my creative fire. Aim high and let's see what happens. You're welcome to email them to me; however, I think leaving them in the comment section for all to see and read would serve to keep all of our creative juices flowing. Man do I love to get my juices flowing. Annnnyyyyhooo. . . I look forward to your constructive participation. I promise to take the clay you give me and sculpt it into something wonderful.

Now, for the bad news. The bad news is that I’m swamped at work. I have two trial settings and they both look like they are going to move forward as opposed to settling or getting continued. Thanks to the work of our military and the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, every litigant is entitled to his day in court. I’d never deny that. Because of that, people like me spend hours upon hours preparing in an attempt to convince 12 strangers that our side is right. Because of that, I’m forced to choose my job over my passion this week. I’ll do my best to post before Thanksgiving, but my ability to do that will depend on what I can get done in the next couple of days. I’m certain y’all understand. I’m not arrogant enough to believe that I’m the only person with too many obligations from time to time.

Please, take care of yourselves this week and be sure to post your ideas for new posts below in the comment section. Happy Veterans’ Day. Happy Friday. In the meantime, if you need me, I’ll be diligently scrutinizing my briefs. DP


  1. DP, Good luck with the trials! Prepping for two is a challenge, but you possess the attributes of a good trial lawyer that I listed last week, so I have no doubt you'll do well.

    I'm a little low on creativity today but will give some thought to potential post topics. I do think it would be interesting to learn about your fantasy jobs (aside from taking over for Chris Harrison). I've listed several of mine in the past, including first base coach for my favorite pro team, which Derek was totally on board with.

    Speaking of which... Derek, please come back. We miss you.

  2. Happy 111111 day as well! Good luck with the trials.

    Thinking of something creative right now is like preplanning what to talk about on a date or if you get stuck in an office with that strange coworker that won't leave after rambling for an hour. A while back you had Some Guy Needs a New Bed and your adventure in BB and B. Did you finish your room? Maybe watch a political debate and write thoughts on that? Or have you watched Pawn Stars, American Pickers. What Not to Wear or Say Yes to the Dress? That should spark some ideas.

  3. Thanks for the shout out dp2!!! Don't even get me started on baseball players again, girl!!! By the way, the hard drive in my laptop crashed and it was under repair for a little longer than expected. I was able to read, but not post. I really missed commenting, though. I was tickled to death when DP himself even wondered out loud where I've been. I have not had a chance to tell you yet, but the past few posts have been so much fun to read. I think that "The Biggie" was my favorite.

    I also have a few ideas for posts in the coming weeks. It may take a minute though...I'm still trying to recover from the visual I got with regards to your "juices flowing" comment. Here are a few that me and the boys have come up with:

    A few of us have been involved in long distance relationships, but they never materialized. You and your SLF seemed to have overcome any of the obstacles that come with distance and being apart. In fact, your SLF even made the jump to Austin and now you two are able to enjoy each other's company regularly. Without getting too personal, can you tell us in a general sense what it takes from both sides to successfully navigate through a long distance relationship until time and circumstances permit the two of you to be together?

    Another question that me and the boys have pondered is the mystery of how you stay looking so young. We've read the blog and have estimated your age at between 38-40 years old. However, we have studied your pictures (some more than underwear modeling) and you look like your are no older than 30 years old. What's your secret? I mean, your blog picture with your olive oil skin and blue eyes sporting a cowboy hat and shotgun had me and the boys screaming - "Ride Um Cowboy!!!!!"
    Come on DP, let us in on your secrets. Skin creams, workout routines, special diets...what gives?

    Love and laughs,
    Derek and the boys

  4. ...I'm thinking...

    I'm drawing a blank :(

  5. While you are diligently scrutinizing your briefs, might I suggest another question and answer post, with you providing your usual insightful responses from a guy's perspective?

    In the past you've tackled serious topics like why men cheat, but I'd be up for more light-hearted ones, with answers to mysteries like why men feel the need to grope the women they love any chance they get. A butt grab while walking upstairs, a boob graze in the kitchen... is it just a relfex? Answers to questions of that nature would be fun to read and enlightening, too.

  6. Hello Derek and The Boys! We've missed you!!! Sorry to hear your hard drive went soft on you. :)

    With hugs and giggles,

    Post It Girl

  7. Did you ever explain why the guy from REO speedwagon, or whichever 80s band it was, doesn't like you? I remember you saying something about your friends busting your chops, but don't remember why.

  8. Um... Some 'Hot Guy From Austin.'