Saturday, March 11, 2017


Well HELLO, Readers (those of you who are left).  Let me say a few things about the past few weeks before I get to my well-reasoned explanation for not taking time out to write about the past couple of Bachelor episodes.  

First off, I'm fine.  THANK YOU so much to those of you who posted "where are you" and "how are you" and "I'm starting to worry about you" messages in my email and social media pages.  Frankly, I am humbled and flattered that my absence from what to me, at times, seems like such a meaningless endeavor could actually compel some of you to check on my well-being.  Thank you again.  I sincerely apologize if any of you wasted even a moment of your precious time being even remotely concerned about me.  

Second, I have to confess that I have not watched the past two episodes, nor have I taken the time to find out what happened.  With the exception of a very brief conversation with my dear friend, Lincee Ray--who also received inquiries about my aforementioned well-being--I have no clue as to where we stand.  

Granted, Fleiss let the cat out of the bag when he prematurely announced Rachel as our next Bachelorette before she was (presumably) defiled by Nick (No. 6 in the Defiled by Nick on National Television Fan Club, by the way) in the Fantasy Suite prior to being sent home. So my assumption is that Raven and Vanessa are the last women standing.  I'll catch up.  I just don't know when. 

Third, for those of you who have been reading this blog (Bachelor and non-Bachelor content) for some time now, you're undoubtedly familiar with my love of Bigfoot; a love, by the way, that predates any of the ridiculous "documentaries" currently posing as entertainment on various networks across the cable spectrum.  

I actually watch Finding Bigfoot.  I watch not because I actually believe that a bi-pedal hominid is going to come waltzing out of the woods in front of the camera, but because I am literally fascinated by the utter lack of rationalism and objectivity required by the scientific method demonstrated on the show in addition to the presupposed, unilateral conclusion that "Bigfoots" (yes, plural) are omnipresent before any of the "evidence" is gathered.  They might as well be looking for the Easter Bunny or Easter Bunnies as it were.  

As I see it, there are really only two logical possibilities that a person can draw from watching that show.  Either Bigfoot, as elusive as he is regarded to be, does not exist or he has a severe aversion to fat white men and lesbians.  

That show would more aptly be titled Not Finding Bigfoot.  Regardless, I read that the four "investigators" on that show just signed multi-year, seven figure deals--each--to continue to not find Bigfoot in some of the most pristine wilderness sites across the world.  

I, as the saying goes, am in the wrong business.  

SGIA Captured in Northern California circa March 2017

Unlike Bigfoot, I don't have multiple groups of middle-aged men hiking around Northern California howling into the darkness and hitting trees with sticks looking for me in an effort to find fame and fortune while fighting off the inevitable onset of Type-2 Diabetes.  Ergo, my own elusiveness as of late.

Frankly, if anyone wants to find me he should just place a six pack of cold Lone Star bottles with my name on it at the front door of any Austin honky tonk and retire to the bushes with a dart gun.  I'd be stuffed and on display inside of a week.  

As most of you also know, I am an attorney by day and those responsibilities, as of late, have grown like the Venus Flytrap in Little Shop of Horrors.  Just to give you an idea of what my life has been like over the past 11 days.  My schedule is listed below. 

  • March 1.  Fly to central Florida for a deposition then fly back to Austin on the same day. 
  • March 2.  Fly to southern California for several depositions and client meetings.  
  • March 3.  Fly home on morning red eye for court in Austin that afternoon
  • March 6.  Fly to northern California for a hearing in Federal Court and client meetings before and after it.  
  • March 7 Redeye home for a hearing in Austin in the AM then hop a flight to Houston for a hearing in the afternoon.  Fly back to Austin that night.
  • March 8 Status conference via phone (thank God) for Houston case.
  • March 9-10  Federal brief and state pleadings drafted in addition to supplementation of discovery in 4 cases with pending depositions and hearings in March.  

I'm also traveling the 13th and 14th, 19th-23rd, and 27th and 28th of March.  Oh yea, none of that takes in to account the amount of preparation (reading, writing, meeting, researching  etc.) and I have personal stuff to attend to as well.  

You get the picture.  Sorry I haven't written.  For what it's worth, the blog isn't the only thing on hold.  Overall, I am blessed to have a busy practice and a lot of work to translate into the one thing that makes the world go around.  

Stressful?  Yes.  Fun?  Not really.  Perspective is gained and lost depending on one's proximity to the stresses of life. (un)Fortunately, I've been in cycle after cycle of this type during my career.  It will slow down . . . eventually.   

Oh, listen to me.  I've gotten so wound up in my own trivialities and solipsism that I haven't yet focused on what is really important here.  I hope that Nick finds true happiness after sleeping with Raven and Vanessa  . . . and Kaitlyn, and Andi, and Amanda, and Rachel . . . .

Thanks again for caring.  Your messages mean a lot.  If you care, my money is on Vanessa next week.  Frankly, I think Nick would prefer a geographically close Canadian with a boisterous family who drink like fish to a conservative, Bible belt Southern Girl from small town Arkansas.  I would have chosen differently, but let's hope it all works out.  

Love you.  Mean it. 

Have a wonderful week.  In the meantime, if you need me, I'll be about 38,000 feet over your heads.  DP


  1. Perspective. Keep your head in the game.

  2. Don't forget Liz from Jade and Tanners wedding.

  3. Dude, I hope you are able to schedule sleep their at some point. And vacation. And you time. I wish you all the best, and no annoying people seated next to you taking the armrest.

  4. Yes, you should definitely grab the armrest! Miss your posts, feel like I'm wasting good time watching this garbage when I don't have your comments.
    B in NY definitely your oldest fan!

  5. Good to see you are okay
    Use those jillions of frequent flyer miles and take Mrs Some Guy on a nice relaxing vacation
    Sal in Utah

  6. Wow. Safe travels and good luck with your cases! I hope you get a chance to relax at some point soon!

  7. Miss you. Mean it.


  8. You're worth the wait, no matter what you post.

  9. Cash in your miles and go somewhere fantastic!
    Thanks for checking in with us. You're amazing! Mean it.

  10. Missed you bunches even checked with Lincee to make sure you were ok.
    Cash in all those frequent flyer miles and take Mrs SGIA to Fiji

  11. Missed you SGIA!! Checked often to see if you had surfaced...You can always send a "Hey" while up in the sky.

  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

    1. Sorry, premature posting...

      What I meant to say was that I figured you were either out there make the world a more just place (or something like that) or that you had literally died of boredom this season. I am glad it was the former.

    2. ***making
      Damn, I need to get off the computer.

  13. Wow! -- and all this time I thought you just took naps at your desk and expensed lunch and cocktails to the company. xoxo

  14. I have missed reading your weekly recaps, especially since the season has been so boring that we could have used more humor. But we understand that you have an actual job and life, and poking fun at reality TV can't be your number 1 priority. From a fan since Ames wore red pants.

  15. Well I was in Austin recently...wish I'd have known about the six-pack/honky tonk trap. Next time! Until then, I hope your briefs (the legal kind) are as entertaining as your blog. That would surely be a gift to the US justice system. ~Lynn from Ohio

  16. It's not the same without your snarky male perspective! Missed your recaps but totally understand. Hope you get some downtime soon.


  17. Hey SGIA, loyal longtime reader. I come by every week or so now to see if you have updated. Totally understand all of the life commitments that take you away from watching, much-less recapping this show. Just know that you are appreciated. And when you can post, we know you will. NCAA has got me not watching anything else much (I am a UNC grad; please don't throw things at me).

  18. Hope life is treating you well. Will you be back for The Bachelorette next week? Miss your take on the craziness.

    Ann in Denver

  19. We miss you! DP

  20. Really miss your comments, I noticed that you also haven't 'tweeted' in awhile. Hope it's just because you're busy.
    B in NY (your oldest fan)

  21. Hi SGIA. I keep checking and checking to see what you have to say about Rachel & Co. and you're not here! Miss you and hope you're doing ok.

  22. Hi, DP, same here, miss you and your opinions. Would love your input on Rachel when you get "a spare minute."

  23. Watching the Bachelorette is SO not as much fun without your posts!! I totally understand you have a demanding job, so I'm not fussing at you. Just writing to say I really miss you and your humor!

  24. I think it's indeed a meaningless endeavour, and that the greatest task you've performed is to stop writing.
    You are one of the bigges mysogyinists I found on the net today. Congratulations for making us cringe with your macho comments and thinking.

    I bet you have a pretty hard time sticking your boners anywhere else rather than your own hand.

    1. Ummm, Anonymous, what is wrong with you? Sounds like someone's cranky and taking it out on a person s/he doesn't know, from behind a computer screen.

  25. We miss you! Rachel's season is so boring without you! Hope all is well!

  26. Really miss your comments, I noticed that you also haven't 'tweeted' in awhile. Hope it's just because you're busy.
    Gclub casino online


  27. Please keep updating this blog, it's been too long. Great post! We adore this blog and This information is very good.



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